oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
