Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
