remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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