i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize