I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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