if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
