You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
