i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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