when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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