yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
