I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
