I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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