Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
