his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize