i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
