I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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