my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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