hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
