Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
