somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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