its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
