yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
