I'm going to jail i love you
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize
