he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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