i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
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