Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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