Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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