farters have to be the big spoon...
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize