I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
