her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
