there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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