Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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