Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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