if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
