I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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