I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
