Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Im part way to drunk.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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