You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
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