google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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