i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
