Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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