So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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