dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
