i don't like sucking hair
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
