apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
