just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Shame - the story of my life.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
