Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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