Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
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