An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
