so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
