Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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