I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Randomize
