Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
