Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
and you said cock pushups were impossible
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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