yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
