O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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