It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
