Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
