plz talk dirty to me
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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