Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
