That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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