You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
